Chuckle out the old year

December 30th, 2008

>>>> If you need a good laugh, try reading through these
>>>> children’s science
>>>> exam answers…
>>>>
>>>> Q: Name the four seasons.
>>>> A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
>>>>
>>>> Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made
>>>> safe to
>>>> drink.
>>>> A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes
>>>> large
>>>> pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
>>>>
>>>> Q: How is dew formed?
>>>> A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them
>>>> perspire.  < BR>
>>>> Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (Brilliant, love
>>>> this!)
>>>> A: Keep it in the cow.
>>>>
>>>> Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
>>>> A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon.
>>>> All water tends
>>>> to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the
>>>> moon, and
>>>> nature hates a vacuu m. I forget where the sun joins in
>>>> this fight.
>>>>
>>>> Q: What are steroids?
>>>> A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
>>>>
>>>> Q: What happens to your body as you age?
>>>> A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get
>>>> intercontinental
>>>>
>>>> Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
>>>> A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his
>>>> adultery.
>>>> (The kid gets an A+ for this answer!)
>>>> < B>
>>>> Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
>>>> A: Premature death.
>>>>
>>>> Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g.,
>>>> abdomen)
>>>> A: The body is consisted into three parts — the brainium,
>>>> the borax and
>>>> the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the
>>>> borax
>>>> contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity
>>>> contains the five
>>>> bowels A, E, I, O, and U.
>>>>
>>>> Q: What is the fibula?
>>>> A: A small lie.
>>>>
>>>> Q: What does ‘varicose’ mean? (I do love this
>>>> one…)
>>>> A: Nearby.
>>>>
>>>> Q: Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarian
>>>> Section.’
>>>> A: The Caesarian Sect ion is a district in Rome.
>>>>
>>>> Q: What does the word ‘benign’ mean?’
>>>> A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight

Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

Share/Save/Bookmark

    About
    Stuffed into an 8 pound flesh covered space suit in Southern California in 1944, Barbara Ann Moore was born at a very early age. Her uneventful childhood, with a yarn-spinning Alabama father and Virginia Virgo mother, two humorous older brothers and a singing beagle, was full of love and laughter. As a professional student with no particular profession in mind, Barbara attended several colleges and universities on the undergraduate as well as the graduate level. Briefly married (also at an early age), Barbara worked as a lab tech in the hospital before she became an academic adviser at Iowa State University and later, in California, at the State University at Chico. Her life took a distinct 180 turn in the '70's when she met a colorful psychedelic artist who wanted to “score” a chick and move to Hawaii. Since her multiple Scorpio phoenix bird reincarnations in Hawaii, Barbara has primarily been crafting the Healing Arts Center (see About Us on www.dragonflyranch.com) called the Dragonfly Ranch--begun in 1974. Along the way, Barbara studied with a number of respected kahunas who taught her Hawaiian lomilomi (a sacred rejuvenation treatment), ho’oponopono (a method of "setting things right") and Hawaiian healing herbs. With the help of quality assistance from her Ohana (adopted family), three dogs and one cat, Barbara hosts discerning travelers looking for an authentic Hawaiian experience, enjoying Healthy Pleasures. Elected president of Hawaii Island Wellness Travel Association (HIWTA.org), Barbara is learning how to interview members for youTube "webasodes". Besides loving her life at the Dragonfly, Barbara’s present personal passion is to finish her screenplay called, “To Die Laughing”, a romantic comedy about death.
    Archives
    Meta